IC CONTACT

[hashrap]

TG: if you called to start a passionate love affair youll need to get in fucking line

Comments

november 27th 7:30pm

[cawky]

so
whatd you do
spare no detail
i gotta know
e v e r y t h i n g

[hashrap]

drank my aj so i spunked in his garnier
then the douche peed in my pepsi so i ordered him a stripper to come round and watched him shell out to make her leave
he drew mustaches on all the photos hangin up in my room so i took his dog out to meet its first skunk
then he locked the dog in my room
i drew lovingly rendered dongs on all his school books and he put a red shirt in my laundry
and once he put a kick me sign on my back to soothe his internal 5 year old

it's the 3rd 4 u

[nitidus]

Happy birthday, douchenozzle. I have cleaned my whole bedroom in your honor. I have also baked you a cake, you can eat it whenever you like.


Also we are having a party tomorrow night, so you should probably go for a bath. Until I smell the soothing scent of Radox from you, you won't get your present.

[hashrap]

what did you put in the cake
i dont know if i trust your cooking
is there a stripper in it

[nitidus]

I tried to ask John to repay the favor you bestowed on his shampoo, but he was having none of it. I'm afraid you just have a regular cake with icing and no strippers inside.

I could draw a picture of Karkat in his underwear if you'd like though. Perhaps Gamzee?

[hashrap]

its because he got a thorough schooling in the bro code and nobody drank his apple juice so his danglies shriveled up
its a dude thing rose you wouldnt understand

no

[nitidus]

I see. So yu can onlt get it up for AJ. That's v v interesting.

Uh hu.

hapy birthday <3

[wytchkkrafts]

[ maybe he won't see this until it is the late night of december 4th but it's been sitting there since the afternoon of december 3rd. under dave's pillow he will find 4 things.

1. a fake id with the name : ronaldo barry von capeington.
2. a bottle of lube.
3. a bottle of apple juice.
4. a note attached to the bottle of lube. ]

sup dave happy fucking birthday to u
stop fuckin around the house so much its driving jade crazy
but since its ur wiggling day and everything i thought id ingulge yu because im the best fucking teen mom there is
i know you agree
so feel free to knock urself out but make sure to use tissues instead of johns shampoo
got you teh apple juice to make up for that btw
the other thing is just a bonus so we can walk into bars together
be glad i didnt stuff ths in your locker because thatd be pretty fucking embarrassing for you
see in u dentention ;)

[hashrap]

did you seriously get me lube for my birthday

[wytchkkrafts]

yes

[bonermagic]

[At some point in the day this is slipped into Dave's room. He's confused and wearing a plush smuppet hat, which I'd draw but I'm lazy. Deal. You can imagine the nose bobbing along as he sniffs parts of the room, confused.

A small bottle of apple juice is attached to the dog's collar (adorned with a dick dog tag, free of engravings) like he's some kind of Saint Bernard smuppetdog here to rescue Dave from a juiceless existence.

The note, taped to the bottle, simply reads:



He thought about adding more but...nah.]