IC CONTACT

[hashrap]

TG: if you called to start a passionate love affair youll need to get in fucking line

Comments

november 27th 7:30pm

[cawky]

so
whatd you do
spare no detail
i gotta know
e v e r y t h i n g

it's the 3rd 4 u

[nitidus]

Happy birthday, douchenozzle. I have cleaned my whole bedroom in your honor. I have also baked you a cake, you can eat it whenever you like.


Also we are having a party tomorrow night, so you should probably go for a bath. Until I smell the soothing scent of Radox from you, you won't get your present.

hapy birthday <3

[wytchkkrafts]

[ maybe he won't see this until it is the late night of december 4th but it's been sitting there since the afternoon of december 3rd. under dave's pillow he will find 4 things.

1. a fake id with the name : ronaldo barry von capeington.
2. a bottle of lube.
3. a bottle of apple juice.
4. a note attached to the bottle of lube. ]

sup dave happy fucking birthday to u
stop fuckin around the house so much its driving jade crazy
but since its ur wiggling day and everything i thought id ingulge yu because im the best fucking teen mom there is
i know you agree
so feel free to knock urself out but make sure to use tissues instead of johns shampoo
got you teh apple juice to make up for that btw
the other thing is just a bonus so we can walk into bars together
be glad i didnt stuff ths in your locker because thatd be pretty fucking embarrassing for you
see in u dentention ;)

[bonermagic]

[At some point in the day this is slipped into Dave's room. He's confused and wearing a plush smuppet hat, which I'd draw but I'm lazy. Deal. You can imagine the nose bobbing along as he sniffs parts of the room, confused.

A small bottle of apple juice is attached to the dog's collar (adorned with a dick dog tag, free of engravings) like he's some kind of Saint Bernard smuppetdog here to rescue Dave from a juiceless existence.

The note, taped to the bottle, simply reads:



He thought about adding more but...nah.]